defiance phase, 3-Year-Syndrome, Three year Syndrome, 3 Year Syndrome, defiant phase with the children | dengem

What is Three-Year-Syndrome and what can parents do?

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First, it is essential to remember that each child’s development is unique. When the Three-Year-Syndrome is discussed, it does not imply that all children who reach the age of three will suffer similar issues. Alternatively, each child with this syndrome reacts differently. In my youth, each age represented a new stage. The reactions of parents shape age periods. Therefore, keep in mind that age-related syndromes are not only about the child, but also about your response.

Furthermore, the age threshold is unique to each child. Many of the things that can be mentioned about a 3-year-old child can also be noticed in a youngster who is 3.5 years old or 2.5 years old. Developmentally, months and years may not be clearly divided.

What does the typical development of a 3-year-old involve?

Development of Physical or Motor Skills

  • Runs and climbs effectively
  • Walks up and down the steps with one foot
  • Jumps with both feet.
  • Tricycle pedals.


Development of Speech, Communication, and Language

  • Uses sentences with three words.
  • Keeps a conversation going.
  • Speaks clearly enough for strangers to understand.
  • Follows two or three command instructions.
  • Says name, age and gender.
  • Asks “why,” “where,” “what,” “when,” and “how” questions.
  • Says the name of a friend.


Social and emotional development

  • Shows empathy and concern for others.
  • Imitates peers and adults
  • Takes place in the order of the games.
  • May be separated from his parents.
  • Displays a wide range of emotions.
  • Enjoys routines and can be agitated by major changes.
  • Gets dressed by himself.
  • Enjoys assisting with basic home tasks.
  • Verbally expresses a need for the toilet.


Thinking and Cognitive Development

  • Makes three or four-piece puzzles.
  • Draws or duplicates a circle with crayons or pencils.
  • Creates imaginative games with dolls, people and animals.
  • Uses his imagination to make up stories and play games.
  • Sorts and pairs things based on their shape and color.
  • Controls toys with buttons, knobs, and movable pieces.
  • Understands what “two” implies.
  • Individually turns pages.
  • Understands common colors
  • Turns doorknobs and screws and unscrews jar tops.
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What are typical behaviours in Three-Year-Syndrome children?

Many behaviours that appear to be problematic for a 3-year-old are actually typical for a child of that age. In fact, they are a normal part of growing and discovering oneself. However, these actions may occasionally appear problematic to you.

Children can establish limits by frequently saying “no.” They are not obligated to comply with your wishes. Setting limits is a means of demonstrating their independence. It is about the individuation process.

Your child may chose his toys, his companions, and his outfit. He might have preferred and despised certain colors. Remember that he, too, is an individual.

Sibling jealousy is visible in the Three-Year-Syndrome. It is tough for a three-year-old to share his parents, and he may want his parents to only look after him. If it does not develop into behavioural issues, consider it normal.

He is not required to share his possessions. Allow him to keep his personal belongings.

It’s okay for her to scream or throw a tantrum now and again because she can’t express her feelings yet.

Since his language is limited, it is typical for him to express himself with words that are similar.

He can occasionally wet himself. Psychological factors should be investigated.

He can play by talking to himself. His inner voice is not fully developed.


What are the signs and symptoms of three-year-old syndrome?

Keep in mind that these issues can arise occasionally for every child. However, be aware of its occurrence and severity. It may not be a concern if it occurs infrequently or only during times. You must pay attention if it appears to have an impact on your life. Although there are behavioural differences between 3-year-old boys and 3-year-old girls, similar problems are seen to a considerable extent.

  • Interruption
  • Play too aggressively
  • Disobeying the rules
  • Having an attitude
  • Stubbornness
  • Socialization issues
  • Punching, spitting, swearing, biting
  • Throw yourself to the ground
  • Dirtying oneself stubbornly
  • Wet one’s pants
  • Interrupting when speaking
  • Repeating unfavourable habits, particularly
  • Bursting into tears
  • Exhibiting tenacious attitudes
  • Inability to regulate their emotions
  • Impatience
  • Ambition to command
  • Harming a sibling
  • Jealousy issues
  • Wanting to be the focus of attention


What should be done for three-year-old syndrome? What are the possible solutions?

Advice for children aged 3 to 3.5

  • Invite them to join you in an activity.
  • Offer alternate alternatives.
  • Discuss an attractive plan. Alternatively, make a plan together.
  • Invite him to play with a unique toy that you have saved for special occasions.
  • Keep them occupied and distracted.
  • Create cryptic body language between you. Make this sign only for the two of you. For example, it could imply that he must wait.
  • Teach him how to keep himself entertained while waiting. Finding the colors of nearby objects, for example.
  • Never disregard or ignore it. Do not forget to state that you have heard or seen it.
  • Let them know that you will take care of them as soon as possible. Your child must learn to wait, as you may not be able to always care for him.
  • When you are done talking or working, give him your undivided attention and meet all of his needs.
  • Praise them for remaining silent while you finished.
  • Applaud their exemplary conduct. Reward positive behaviour.
  • Do not ignore their rude behaviour if you want it to stop.
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Parental advice! Parenting is never perfect!

  • Children notice when you are not sincere about what you say. Do not give them the impression that you can be pushed to your limits. Be precise.
  • Be consistent. Do not make contradictory decisions, especially as parents. Your collective position will have an impact on the child.
  • Do not allow your authority to be questioned if family elders are involved. It is critical that your rules apply to everyone.
  • When you make a decision, stick with it. Progress with solutions takes time. Get help from your partner, a friend, another parent, or a health care provider. It is useful to have someone with whom you can discuss your plans.
  • Avoid confusing children by speaking clearly and briefly.
  • Do not tell your child a lie. Most solutions will fail if he loses the trust. Trusting you is the most crucial factor.
  • Your anger and frustration may increase each time your child does something annoying. It is sometimes impossible not to express your anger. However, try to remain calm.
  • Eliminate dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Do not resort to things like arguing with your spouse, being constantly on the phone, addiction, or a shopping binge.
  • It may be beneficial to speak with friends who understand you.
  • Do not hesitate to seek assistance for unresolved issues.
  • Children do not need to be able to speak to understand. Explaining the reasoning behind your request can make a big difference. Explain, for instance, why you need him to hold your hand when crossing the street.
  • Encourage your child to express why he is angry or disturbed once he can speak. This will relieve their frustration.
  • Talk favourably about your child. Do not make him believe he is naughty, difficult. Consider his favourable attributes.
  • Approach your child with interest, hugs, or smiles.
  • Never bribe your child. In particular, he should not fulfil his responsibilities for the award. He really should be aware of what to do. It is the wrong way to say, “If you complete your schoolwork, I’ll give you chocolate.”
  • Do not forget to express your affection for him.
  • Avoid all forms of violence. Violence impedes the growth of a healthy personality.
  • Have fun together.
  • Express your joy when engaging in activities with him.
  • You cannot possibly know everything. Do not burden yourself.



Children learn by observation. Keep in mind that they will imitate you. You live with a camera that is continuously recording you. So, consider what kind of role model you are for your child.


How do developmental difficulties impact your child?

Your child can suffer from developmental delays. This can have an adverse effect on that age group. In other words, it could prevent him from doing what was expected of him at age 3. This may result in more challenging age periods. You should seek psychological support immediately during these processes.


What factors can influence your child’s behaviour and lead to the syndrome?

Life changes. Any shift in a child’s life might be challenging. This could be the birth of a new baby, moving to a new house, a change in the babysitter, the formation of a playgroup, or something much more modest.

Parent enduring a challenging circumstance. Children rapidly detect when you are sad or when there are troubles in the household. They can be bad when you are feeling bad. Do not blame yourself if you are experiencing difficulty. However, do not blame your child for any changes that may occur.

Health problems. You, your partner, or your child may suffer from major health issues. Hospitalizations can be observed. During instances such as pandemics, it may be necessary to remain separate. It is typical for your child to exhibit changes in behaviour at these times.

Deaths. The loss of a parent can be considered the most difficult circumstance for a child. Behavioural changes are to be expected in a child whose parent has died. This is quite normal. Primarily, the youngster must feel safe throughout this procedure. It must also be supported.

Can dengem assist you with the Three-Year-Syndrome?

dengem’s professional psychologists can help you with parental therapy for age-related syndromes. As a parent, you may occasionally feel trapped. This is very normal. There may be difficult periods in your life as well. Getting online treatment will help you through these times. You can reach our psychologists at home, at a convenient time for conversation. Additionally, you can ask your questions in advance with free preliminary interviews. Visit our website to select your psychologist.

Take care of your soul with dengem, because you are important to us.


Trotzphase bei Kindern,, 2023, Maike Mauer