Why do I feel like I don’t belong anywhere?
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What does belonging mean?
Belonging is the state of belonging to a group or community, the feeling of belonging to a place. It refers to people’s need to connect with a group, to be accepted and to feel important and valuable.
What is a sense of belonging?
A sense of belonging is when a person sees themselves as part of a community and feels that they belong to that group.
What are the symptoms of a lack of belonging?
Symptoms of a lack of belonging occur when a person feels lonely, isolated and excluded. These symptoms include
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Low self-confidence
- Feelings of loneliness
- Difficulties with social relationships
- Low motivation
- Emotional problems such as anxiety and anger may occur.
A lack of belonging can also lead to problems such as self-alienation, identity insecurity and low life satisfaction.
What are the causes of a lack of belonging?
The causes of a lack of belonging are complex and several factors may be involved. For example, traumatic events in childhood such as poor family relationships, emotional abuse or neglect, divorce or loss of family can lead to a lack of belonging.
Difficulties with friendships, social exclusion or peer pressure in adolescence can also lead to a lack of belonging. In adults, life changes such as job loss, migration, divorce or social exclusion can exacerbate a lack of belonging.
Why is belonging important?
As social beings, people have a need to connect with others. A sense of belonging gives people a sense that their lives are valuable, creates social support and relationships, increases motivation and improves mental health. A sense of belonging helps people develop a social identity in which they can express themselves in meaningful and satisfying ways.
How does a sense of belonging develop?
A sense of belonging develops primarily through the social environment and relationships one has. People develop a sense of belonging when they share similar values, interests or goals with the groups to which they belong. For example, groups within the family, among friends, at school, at work, in the community or groups that share a common hobby can strengthen the sense of belonging. Active interaction with these groups, participation in common activities and mutual support help to develop a sense of belonging.
How does a person without a sense of belonging behave?
A person without a sense of belonging often feels isolated and has difficulty with social interactions. He or she may feel lonely, excluded or insignificant. These people are often prone to low self-esteem, lack of motivation and emotional problems such as depression and anxiety.
Lack of a sense of belonging in adults
A lack of belonging in adults can lead to difficulties in social relationships at work, dissatisfaction with work, loss of motivation and a sense of failure.
A lack of belonging in adults can be identified by a number of symptoms. These include
- social isolation
- Constant feelings of loneliness
- Difficult and stressful relationships
- A persistent feeling of exclusion or ostracism
- Unsuccessful attempts to socialise
- low self-confidence
- low motivation
- Dissatisfaction at work
In addition, these people often avoid participating in groups or communities and stay away from social interactions.
Lack of a sense of belonging in children
A lack of belonging in children can manifest itself in similar symptoms. Particularly at school, children may have difficulty making friends, feel isolated, have problems with social interactions, and have difficulty being accepted in groups. This can have a negative impact on the child’s self-confidence, reduce academic performance and affect general mental health.
Lack of belonging at work
Lack of belonging at work is also a common problem. Lack of belonging at work means that employees find it difficult to connect with colleagues or the organisation, to have shared values and to develop a sense of community at work.
This can have a negative impact on employee motivation, job satisfaction and performance. Lack of workplace belonging can be caused by factors such as a lack of communication within the organisation, leadership issues, incompatibility with employees’ values and difficulties in working as a team.
How do you create a sense of belonging?
By taking part in social interactions: To develop a sense of belonging, it is important to actively participate in social interactions, engage in groups or communities, and connect with people who share common goals or interests. These interactions help individuals adopt shared values and identities, connect with others and feel validated. In addition, social support, helping others and participating in group activities can strengthen a sense of belonging.
The first step in developing a sense of belonging is to join a group. This group may be a family, a school, a workplace, a sports team, an arts group or another social organisation.
Belonging to a group gives individuals a sense of being part of a community to which they belong. In these groups, people share similar interests, goals or values. These similarities make it easier for the individual to feel part of the group.
Mutual support and acceptance among group members is important to ensure a sense of belonging. Empathy, tolerance and respect build trust between group members. Support, listening and understanding in relationships within the group strengthen the individual’s sense of belonging. In addition, creating a culture of solidarity and cooperation among group members helps to maintain a sense of belonging.
The development of a sense of belonging is also linked to the discovery of one’s own identity. Interactions within the group offer individuals the opportunity to discover and express different aspects of their personality.
Individuals can better understand their own skills, interests and values by receiving feedback on their role and contribution to the group. This process helps people to get to know themselves better and strengthens their sense of belonging. People without a sense of belonging often have difficulties in social interactions.
Belonging is therefore an important concept that enables people to feel part of a community. The need to belong can lead to emotional and psychological problems. Strategies such as active social interactions, participation in social groups and psychological support can be used to develop a sense of belonging. If you feel a real sense of emptiness and lack of belonging and believe you need help, how can you overcome it?
Dengem, with its experienced psychologists, is here to help! Dengem’s psychologists will help you to combat the feeling of lack of belonging by conducting individual counselling sessions and creating a personalised counselling plan using various methods and therapeutic approaches. You can make an appointment with one of our psychologists at any time.
Further articles:
References:
- Altınsoy, F., & Özyer, K. K. (2018). Liseli Ergenlerde Okula Aidiyet Duygusu: Umutsuzluk ve Yalnızlık ile İlişkileri. İlköğretim Online. Aidiyet Ne Demek, i don’t belong anywhere
- Kavakli, M. (2019, June 17). Psikolojik Dışlanma ve Sosyal Dışlanma Arasındaki Farklılık: Benlik Değeri, Yalnızlık ve Genel Aidiyet Duygusu Üzerindeki Etkileri. Retrieved from Aidiyet Ne Demek, i don’t belong anywhere
- Pardede, S., & Kovač, V. B. (2023). Distinguishing the Need to Belong and Sense of Belongingness: The Relation between Need to Belong and Personal Appraisals under Two Different Belongingness–Conditions. European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology and Education, 13(2), 331–344., i don’t belong anywhere