Gaslighting: What is gaslighting and how to stop it?
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which victims are intentionally confused, manipulated, and deeply disturbed so that their perception of reality is distorted and their self-confidence is gradually damaged or destroyed.
In our relationships, we can burden each other with many emotions. These feelings can be constructive or destructive. Gaslighting, or emotional manipulation, involves destructive emotions that we make others feel.
The effects on the psyche are varied and destructive. Gaslighting is when someone distorts the victim’s perception of reality, makes them doubt themselves, and tries to control them.
Gaslighting definition: What is gaslighting?
Mental manipulation (Gaslighting) is a form of manipulation on a psychological level based on creating self-doubt. It can leave a person with deep emotional scars. In gaslighting, there is a power imbalance between the perpetrator and the person being gaslighted. The victim becomes dependent and begins to forget his or her own reality.
Perpetrators, often from the victim’s community, often exploit stereotypes or vulnerabilities related to gender, relationship, race, nationality, sexuality, or economic status. Gaslighting can occur in any situation, including the doctor’s office, the workplace, special occasions, and celebrity romances.
What are the characteristics and symptoms of gaslighting?
The most characteristic feature of gaslighting is that it is important to the abuser that things go his or her way. For the perpetrator, the world revolves around them, their desires and feelings are important, the other person’s feelings are unimportant, and they lack empathy for the other side.
Gaslighting can rise to the level of psychological torture and cause serious harm to the victim. This suggests that people who gaslight are narcissistic. In fact, narcissistic traits are often found in gaslighters.
One of the difficult things about gaslighting is that it is inherently confusing. The relationship between you and the gasper is complex. At first, you may not realize that you are being gaslighted.
This is often difficult to recognize. Often the gaslighting comes from someone you like and trust. For this reason, you may not recognize this person as the abuser.
How can I tell if I am a victim of gaslighting?
In a relationship,
- If you have self-doubt
- If you doubt your partner’s sanity
- If you feel confused and powerless after a dialogue, beware! You may be coming out of an unhealthy dialogue. Recognize the abuse you are being subjected to. And protect yourself.
- Many gaslighters isolate their victims from their environment. They try to cut them off from friends, family, and other support networks.
- A gaslighter will manipulate you if you challenge them. This may make you feel guilty and blame yourself. You will feel confused and insecure about yourself. You may blame yourself.
- You may experience warm and cold, positive and negative behaviors back to back. A gaslighter may alternate between verbal abuse and praise to keep the victim off balance. They may even do this in a very short period of time. The victim is confused and torn between blame and affection.
- If your family and friends also think that you are mentally unwell,
- you need to be careful in this situation.
How does gaslighting affect your mental health?
Mental manipulation is designed to create insecurity and self-doubt. By its very nature, it aims to bring the victim down. In the process, you may gradually develop mental health problems.
This process is stressful to the victim’s mental health. During the process of emotional abuse, you may experience
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Problems with obsessions
- Sexual problems
- Low self-esteem
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Exaggerated fear of danger
- Suicidal thoughts
If you are a victim of gaslighting and are struggling with any of the above symptoms, you should take notice. You should consider seeking support from a mental health counselor or other therapist.
To do this, you must first raise your awareness. Recognizing the situation is one of the most important steps. If you are being abused, you may be traumatized. Therapy can help you overcome this.
What are some tips for recognizing a gaslighter?
Gaslighters may use many gaslighting techniques
- Hiding: The gaslighter pretends not to understand. They hide their feelings. Or refuses to listen.
- Resist: The abusive partner questions the victim’s memory, even if the victim remembers the events correctly.
- Blocking: The abusive partner changes the subject and questions the victim’s thoughts.
- Trivializing: The abusive partner minimizes the victim’s needs or feelings.
- Forgetting: The abusive partner pretends to forget what really happened.
- Deny: Denies things, such as promises made to the victim.
Recognize Gaslighting!
- An example of gaslighting is when a partner does something abusive and then denies that it happened.
- Gaslighting can occur in romantic, platonic, and family relationships, and even in the workplace.
- Abusers try to maintain control in the relationship. They may make their victims question their own sanity.
The effects of gaslighting can make it even more difficult for the victim to leave an abusive relationship. This is because they may not realize what is happening.
Why is Gaslighting Dangerous?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can happen to anyone. It is especially common in romantic relationships. In cases where it is recognized, many relationships can end because of it, and the victim can be severely harmed by a gaslighting partner.
Children living in the same family may also be affected. Gaslighters are not always recognized. That’s why it’s important to recognize them so you don’t stay in a relationship that makes your life a nightmare.
What are the typical gaslighting examples?
Here are expanded examples of gaslighting in various contexts, providing more detailed scenarios to illustrate how this manipulative tactic can manifest.
1. Personal Relationships:
The perpetrator may try to mislead the victim for their own benefit. Look at your own relationship for some examples of gaslighting:
- Denying Conversations: A person says, “We never had that conversation,” even though the other person clearly remembers it. “This never happened.”
- Minimizing Feelings: Someone tells their partner, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You’re overreacting,” when the partner expresses concerns or emotions. “You have a problem. Other people think so too.”, “Do you really think I would do that?”, “You’re too sensitive.”
- Rewriting History: A person says, “You never supported me,” despite clear evidence or memories of past support. “I did it because I love you.”, “It’s not that bad. Other people have it much worse.”
2. Workplace:
- Undermining Confidence: A boss might say, “I never gave you that task,” when an employee questions why they weren’t informed about a responsibility, even though they clearly were.
- Blaming the Victim: A manager tells an employee, “You’re the one who keeps making mistakes,” even when the mistakes are due to poor instructions or lack of training.
- Isolating an Employee: A coworker spreads rumors about someone being unreliable, then denies it, making the person feel paranoid or isolated.
3. Family:
- Invalidating Experiences: A parent says, “That never happened,” when a child recalls a painful or significant event.
- Shifting Blame: A sibling might say, “You’re always the problem,” even when the issues are a result of their actions.
- Distorting Reality: A family member claims, “Everyone agrees with me,” when discussing an issue, even though no one else has voiced agreement.
4. Friendships:
- Dismissing Concerns: A friend might say, “You’re imagining things,” when confronted about hurtful behavior.
- Turning Others Against You: A friend spreads lies about you, then denies doing so when confronted, making you question your own reality.
- Manipulating Perception: A friend convinces you that your memories of a situation are wrong, insisting that events happened differently.
How Do I End a Gaslighting Relationship?
Leaving or correcting an abusive relationship is not a journey you must take alone. Therapists can help you. You can get support in dealing with the trauma or rebuilding trust and self-love. Therapy can be very helpful.
In addition, community organizations such as support groups can help you overcome feelings of isolation, disability, and loneliness. These support groups can connect you with other victims in similar situations and remind you that you are not alone in what you are going through.
If you think you are a victim of gaslighting, it is also important to recognize it. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy and abusive relationship. Remember, it’s not your fault that you’re in one of these relationships, and you can leave. Know the signs of gaslighting and don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
You can get help from dengem to overcome gaslighting (emotional abuse)!
The experienced psychologists at dengem can help you with gaslighting as well as anything else. They will answer your questions in a free preliminary consultation. The psychologists on our website.
You can have your therapy session online from anywhere at any time.
Emotional blackmail and unhappiness do not have to be your fate. The solution may be just on the other side of your screen.
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References:
- Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Gaslighting Examples, Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.
- Stoker, J. I., Jordan, J., & Essen, M. V. (2020). Gaslighting at work: A conceptual review and research agenda. Gaslighting Examples,Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 25(3), 165-178.